Lately, I’ve been feeling rather blue and sullen . It’s like I have some kind of green sticky slime all over my skin that no matter how determined my scrubbing, I never seem to get the “ick” off. At times I feel cursed, while at other times I feel like maybe the slime is materializing from my own doings. Either way, it doesn’t really matter how it got there. As goes the wise ancient saying, “it’s not that you suffer, it’s how you suffer”. So, let’s look at my situation; I’m being swallowed daily by a relentless, sticky, slimy parasite that seems to be draining me of my life so it can get stronger. What is one to do when the proverbial sponge isn’t scrubbing the skin clean? One must learn that if you can’t cleanse the outside of the body there is no choice but to cleanse the inside of the body. The parasite can sit there trying to enter my skin, but I must take care of myself from the inside out so the parasite drops off. Diving into spirituality has helped me to cleanse my spirit, mind and heart. Listening to kind music, such as Jewel’s, “I’m Sensitive”, has been a small blessing as well. Continuing to nourish my body helps, and drinking generous amounts of water. Walking in nature and interacting with my pets has been a purging all in itself.
Depression; is the ugliest kind of parasite. And I believe that is the name of my parasite. But it is also people in my life who I feel are also parasites, suckling off of my blood for reasons unbeknownst to me. Jewel subtly begs, “Be careful with me. I’m sensitive and I’d like to stay that way”. I wish I could paint these lyrics unto a neon colored banter and then hold it up for the entire world to see. In a way, asking the world to “take it a bit easy on me”. But in away that is insulting myself. Why should I be pampered? When I face challenges in life I always ask, “Why me?” I ponder for a minute and then think to myself, “Why not me? I can handle it”. I guess all pain inflicted from someone else, really is just inflicted from myself. I think it’s okay to arm yourself with a shield once in awhile and say to yourself, ” I will not let anyone get through my shield and I will not let anyone hurt me”. I AM WARRIOR AMY, CONQUER OF THIS MIND, THIS HEART, THIS BODY, THIS SOUL. NO ONE GETS TO HURT ME BECAUSE I WILL NOT LET THEM. I AM A FIGHTER AND I WILL WIN THIS BATTLE VICTORIOUSLY! WOOOORAAAAA!!!!!! 🙂
Today, I came across a beautiful quote, “Be in love with your life. Every minute of it”. Brilliant. I need to say that quote to myself every morning I wake up!
In other Amy News… I was looking through my jewelry box this week and came across an old folded up paper. I opened it up and vaguely remembered it. On the paper was a gorgeous poem written by a man in the 1920’s. I have no idea where I obtained this poem, I mean literally, I have no idea if I got a hold of it in Hawaii or San Diego. But I’ll share it with you now even though I do not remember this paper’s origins:
–written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920’s–
Not “found in Old St. Paul’s Church”!– see below
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be a greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world if full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is a perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”
And that is all the paper has to offer. A beautiful poem from a wise man, long ago, basically boasting about the great balance that must be maintained through out life. It is a sweet ode.
Another little gem I found, was this morning, a model opposing “Forever 21’s” problematic body image of women. https://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/model-chrissy-teigen-says-forever-21-has-a-body-image-problem-203647387.html I couldn’t agree more with this articles take on the brand. I really wish to fight self worth issues that women face on a daily bases. Whether women are put down relating to “barefoot and pregnant” issues, “get your butt in the kitchen and fix me a sandwich” issues, “your body has to look exactly like this model to be considered beautiful” issues, sexual issues, victim issues… all of it. But I haven’t figured out yet how to help women. But I’ll get it figured out.
I suppose that is all I have to offer on this day in Virginia Beach. Much love from my computer screen to yours and please take care! ❤